I have absolutely no clue what i'm doing with my life.. but that's OK!

Do you ever feel like you have absolutely no freaking idea what you're doing? Life keeps on going, days and months passing by, people learning and growing, your friends building careers and having babies? Everyone else seems to have it all figured out right? But you don't? Yup.. me too.

So as you probably know, i'm 24 years old. I have had a countless number of jobs in my lifetime, excelled in some, failed in others. I am not the brightest bulb in the box (as they say), but I didn't do too badly in school. I definitely passed everything, being a lot better in some subjects than others.. but I never found anything that I was amazing at. Outside of school I always had my dancing. Dancing was my biggest passion when I was growing up, from the age of 8 or 9 until I was about 18. I did heaps of performances, danced on television, did pantomimes and competitions.. I loved it! Then an opportunity came along where I could go off to dance college and live my life long dream. Did I take it? Nope.. the little voice in my head always told me I wasn't good enough. Sad really.

Right, if I wasn't going to dance college.. what was I going to do? This is where it all began, the endless amount of jobs, the worry and stress of trying to have it all figured out. I started working at Argos, I bloody loved this job at the start.. as I did many others.I managed to progress to a manger role, everyone was so proud. But after several months of constantly working, I started to hate going to work, I hated the feeling of being stuck somewhere, stuck in a routine. It was an awful feeling. So one day I sat my mum down and told her how unhappy I was and she told me to leave, "there's plenty of other jobs out there and you're only young". I took her advice. Possibly the best decision i've ever made.

Thats when I discovered my love for travel, after doing the famous 'season in Ibiza'. Three months of pure bliss. But that's not reality right? I had to come home at some point. The day finally came where I arrived home and had to start thinking about an income (the absolute last thing I wanted to do). This is the thing, I have no idea what I want to do? I have nothing that interests me enough to go to university and study. I'm completely confused. So then came more jobs that I didn't like, and begin to hate.

I worked in warehouses, in retail, in pubs, in offices.. they all started out pretty cool and interesting, until about a month later when I would want to quit again. I decided that this was not the life I wanted, so until I figured out what I wanted to do, i'd go travelling. So when I was 21 years old I headed to Australia with a rucksack and no clue what I was doing. I had the best month of travelling and then ran out of money, so again, I had to find a source of income. I started fundraising, the worst job ever!!! Or am I just not capable of liking anything lol? Honestly i'm not writing this blog to moan and whinge about everything.. i'm actually quite a positive person, but I am writing because i'm almost 100% certain that there's so many other people feeling the same way as I do. Back to fundraising, I lasted a lot longer in this job, with only one motive.. to finally save enough money to travel again. Which I eventually did, and managed to quit this job too.

AM I EVER GOING TO FIND A JOB I LIKE? I'm currently living in New Zealand after being away from home for a few years, i've travelled to heaps of countries since leaving. Travel is definitely a massive passion of mine but unfortunately its hard to turn my travelling into a full time job.. believe me i'm trying! So on that note.. i'm now 24, with still absolutely zero clue what I want to do as my career, no clue at all.

I have good and bad days. Some days I sit thinking about how everyone around me is in their dream job, have a mortgage, children, basically have everything figured out. Then other days I sit and look at what i've achieved, it may be different but its still an achievement. What i'm trying to get across is that its absolutely fine to be confused, its fine to be scared, its fine to have no idea what you want to do. Everyone is unique, everyone has their special qualities, everyone has their own path. As much as you feel like you're behind other people, or not as clever, not as qualified, you will shine in other ways. You may be the kindest person, you may be very good at performing, you may be brave, strong, you may be the person who everyone looks to for advice because you're a loyal friend.. These are all achievements and these are all things to be proud of.

Please, never put yourself down, stop worrying about what everyone around you is doing, go at your own pace, and most importantly.. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Especially in this crazy time where the word has gone mad.. don't sit inside looking at people who put you down, people who make you jealous.. look at people who uplift you, who make you want to learn and be better, who make you want to dance around the room like a crazy person. Whether you're 18, or 50 years old, you are still capable of doing what you want.. so don't rush, don't jump into things just because you think you're behind everyone else. Find YOUR passion.